Authors: Colin and Loren Chatsworth, with Dr. Paul Eck
When one or both partners in a relationship are fatigued, it is a bad environment for love. Like a plant, love needs the right environment to flourish. It needs tenderness (an endless supply), understanding, unending appreciation, tranquility and an atmosphere of joy. But all of these things tend to disappear when both partners are exhausted.
With weariness comes edginess. With edginess comes arguments. With arguments come misunderstandings. With misunderstandings come suspicions and fears. Soon, both partners are "working to save the relationship" — instead of enjoying it.
When people are weary, they are oversensitive and prone to misunderstand comments made by the other. Both partners, in their hearts, want to forever say, "I love you" but are too weary to say it, or too tired to feel anything when it is said to them.
The joy even goes out of kissing. One person kisses the other, feels no loving response and thinks, "What's wrong? Doesn't he (or she) love me anymore? Why can't I make him (or her) happy?"
When you have energy, you don't have to learn the "techniques" of human relations. You don't need books or seminars on how to assert yourself. And you don't need to be taught how to be loving and sexual to your mate. All of these things come naturally, and spontaneously, to people with energy. Dr. Paul C. Eck
A tired person is fearful, and an exhausted couple is more prone to doubt each other. One partner wonders ‘Will she (or he) always love me as I am?’ and the other is thinking the same. As the fatigue settles in, the joy goes out of being together. You get so tired, you don't want to be touched and you don't enjoy touching — much less lovemaking. You can get so on edge that just the turning of the pages of the daily newspaper or the squeaking of a chair can irritate you. You are so tired you can't enjoy anymore the little kindnesses you used to do for each other. You get too exhausted to even do them, and when totally exhausted, to even care. Apathy replaces joy, and life becomes boring. People start wondering if they really are meant for each other. They wonder what happened to the original feelings that got them together.
Fatigue and exhaustion can do all of this and more. It can help destroy a marriage that should have lasted forever. But these things need not be. Couples can regain their biochemical balance. They can return to the joy they had in the beginning. With energy renewed, they once again give to each other, as they had always intended to do.
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